Am I a competitive mom?

Sigh. This is such an easy trap to fall into. You meet up with some of your mom friends and notice that their little one's may be able to do something that your little one can't. And there it is. Such a minuscule thing, and yet it affects you (or at least me).

"Am I not stimulating him enough?"
"Why is he behind?"
"How do I get him to do that specific thing?"
"Why isn't he crawling?"

And so the self doubt goes on, and simultaneously you (often unintentionally) become a competitive mom. It doesn't have to be innately stressed or said, but it's the internal turmoil that notifies you that yes, you may be going slightly crazy.

I mean, at the end of the day what does it matter? Children develop at different rates. They acquire different skill sets, and because they are individuals, these skill sets may differ in terms of what they choose to conquer first. So while my little one is not able to do X yet, he's able to do Y, where some others aren't.

Surprisingly at the following week's meetup, you'll notice that this week your little tyke can do something new that some others can't.

And there it is again. The trap of comparison. The pressure of not being good enough. Good enough at the activities. Good enough at the execution of the activities. Good enough at this mom thing. Just good enough. And in this feeling of worrying about being good enough, we need to remember that it's not about us and what we want them to do. Rather, it's about allowing them the freedom to grow and explore at their own pace.

And then there's the bells and whistles comparison. Is my birthday cake good enough/big enough/ up to standard. I can guarantee you that your kid does not care. None of these things matter. And there it is (again). We create such pressure and stress for ourselves by comparing weights, physical attributes, motor skills and so on.

So this is my daily reminder: You are enough. So much so that at the end of the day you are all your little person really wants. And all that other bullshit? It doesn't matter. Your child is an individual who will do things at his/her own pace, and that's what matters.