Famous last words

"He'll fit in with our lifestyle," I overheard my husband tell our friends as we sat around a dinner table at some or other restaurant. My hand rested lightly on my belly as I wondered how our lives were about to change.

We had agreed, our little boy would fit in with our lifestyle. How many times did we nap on the chairs of restaurants and play under the tables whilst our parents maintained their friendships over a meal? So yes, our little boy would fit in with lifestyle.

Fast-forward some months, and as I look up from my laptop, my lounge tells a different tale. Baby toys litter a reading corner; The couches are pushed up against each other barricading some cables from my little one's reach and our lounge table is bare (as it has nothing on it).

I'm not sure when it happened, but over time my little man has taken over every aspect of our house. In some rooms it's a subtle change, but essentially he has left his mark on every room, ensuring that anyone who visits knows that this is his house as well.

A part from the obvious home invasion (I kid), our lifestyle has changed. My calendar is filled with swimming, moms and babes, and music box classes. Playdates over lunch happen frequently, with me actively choosing to avoid night-time outings.

Now, it's not that I didn't try the night-time outings. It's not that we didn't want to take him out for dinner with us, and it's not that (I hope) I've become lame and no longer enjoy evening outings (I mean, who doesn't enjoy a good dinner?). It's that my son is a very bad sleeper. Seriously, like notoriously bad. A good night for us is when he wakes up twice, and a bad night for us is when he wakes up six or even eight times. Yes, you read that right. So, after much juggling, trying, coaxing, and shifting, I've made the decision that we don't do night-time family outings. Because honestly, the only people who suffer are my son and myself (my husband often sleeps in the spare room on bad nights because his schedule is a tad insane, and because, you know: work).

You see, the 2 or so hours of friendly catch-up with our friends is just not worth the unhappiness, sobbing and frequent night waking's.

And so, unless I have someone to look after my little one, I won't be coming out at night. Does that make me lame? Probably. But, ultimately it's what my little boy needs, and I would rather be and do what he needs than appease our social circle.

In saying that, we often have dinners at our house, where I can put him to bed in his own cot and maintain his routine without compromising his schedule. My door is always open for those friends who want to stop for a cuppa. Playdates can always be arranged. And honestly, for those friends who don't understand our new lifestyle, who somehow feel betrayed by those famous last words of "he'll fit into our schedule," and who never stop by to visit or catch-up: who needs em, right?