Motherhood: An opportunity to redefine yourself

When I was little my mom had two friends who owned a beautiful boutique that stocked all sorts of collectors teddy bear items and home décor things (mostly for kids). The mall that they were situated in kept renovating, and as a result they were forced to keep moving all over the mall to accommodate the renovations. This obviously affected their business because this week they'd be on the first floor of the mall, and suddenly the following week patrons could no longer find them (on the ground floor). My mom had countless coffees in that store with her friends and they often chatted about their dilemma and of course, how the landlord was the devil incarnate.

On one such day, the landlord came past to hand-deliver their rent invoice, and of course my five or six year old self piped up and told him he was a naughty, nasty man for putting my mommy's friend's through this, and that he was affecting their income and it was just NOT OKAY. Did I even know what I was saying? I have no clue. My mom was of course mortified, and the landlord (after not being able to get a word in) scampered out the store and decided that he would rather deal with this shop over the phone, lest he run into another angry girl customer.

What happened to that firey little girl? I don't know. But somewhere along the line I lost her. Was it Adulthood? Motherhood? Afraidhood? I find myself more willing to tow the line. If someone or something pisses me off I'm more inclined to try and be diplomatic lest I burn bridges or come across as rude. Honestly, when did burning bridges take precedence over being yourself? And of course, I'm constantly worrying about setting a good example for my son.

But what happens if my tip-toeing ways are doing exactly the opposite? What happens if in my attempt to be a well behaved adult I'm teaching him to be complacent in life?

Now I'm not saying I'm going to go around and call everyone that annoys me a "nasty, naughty person" (although that would be comical), but I am saying that perhaps this motherhood gig is an opportunity to find that firey girl once again. To start becoming more assertive (if not for me, then for the little boy who looks at me like I'm his world). Perhaps adulthood dulls us, moulding us into complacent models of society, and perhaps I fell into that trap.

And so, with motherhood, and the growth of little people comes the opportunity not just to mould another person, but to also re-define yourself.