The Chaos of Four

I've been in a long hibernation. To say that pregnancy doesn't suit me is an understatement. My family is currently a whirlwind of beautiful chaos. There's a whole four of us now, and while I didn't think that one extra person would impact the whole household as severely as it has, it did.

I supposed there's something right about that too. A new soul should shake up the household. The dynamic should be different. She's a little fire-cracker our "Gigi"- but my next post will be all about my birth story and all the emotions that go with having a prem baby.

But this post is not about that. This post is to share some thoughts on the chaos of four.

In many ways juggling 2 kids is way harder than 1, and yet the transition from 1 child to 2 is still easier than none to 1. Does that make sense?

The funny thing about having 2 is that the most simplest task become a challenge. I recently went to a playdate with both kids, and when the playdate drew to an end and I had to put my kids in the car, I was struck with the notion of 'who do I put in first?' You see, it seems simple, but if you put the baby in first then that gives the toddler the opportunity to bolt, and it's not even possible to put the Toddler in whilst holding a newborn. The solution? Always use the pram. The one that allows you to clip your carseat into the pram? Well that, right there is a lifesaver. I know this won't work forever, but right now this is my solution.

That down time you get as a mom when your eldest naps doesn't exist anymore - because it's super rare that they both nap at the same time. And so "me time" is a luxury (can we just take a moment to applaud whoever invented playgroup).

Sleep? Yeah, we're not getting too much of that these days. The nights are long, but the days are short and all that yada yada. Also - how did no one say anything about the 2 year old sleep regression? It's not like we had a great sleeper to begin with.... So yes, we're rocking the 2 year old sleep regression along with a new-born's sleep pattern. Most nights end up with both kids in our bed (don't be a hater right now), and of course neither are satisfied with their own space, they both essentially want to be on top of me. So personal space was kind of a funny concept before Gigi was born, but now it's pretty much non-existent.

The most difficult times of the day? It's a toss up between the morning and the night. The daytime is where we muddle our way through, with a lot of laughing AND a lot of tears. Mornings are tough because getting Augusto ready for playgroup with a baby on the boob 24/7 is HARD. See, I forgot how much newborns like to be on the boob. Hungry? BOOB! Comfort? BOOB! Tired? BOOB. We also have one of those cases where Gigi refuses a dummy. Anyway, so getting a tot (eating breakfast, negotiating getting dressed, packing lunch, brushing teeth, taking multivitamins and changing nappies) ready for playgroup is a touch difficult when doing it all one handed.

Night-time? Gah. I've switched up the bathtime routine to occur earlier and stick both kids in the bath at the same time - with Gigi on that floaty pillow thing. The actual bathing goes okay. So occasionally Augusto will sing 'row your boat' with Gigi on the pillow, but for the most part it happens without any hitches.  The difficulty comes when I have to take baby Gigi out of the bath - that's when the fun starts. Once she's towelled down an dressed I place her in the crib to deal with our tot. Those ten minutes may be the most stressful out of the whole damn day. She screams her head off the whole time. My son sings to her whilst getting dressed of course, not that it makes a difference. So until I pick her up, we have the chorus of her crying to keep us company.

Bedtime? Now that's a toughie. When Enrico's at home he's on baby-bouncing duty. But if he's not home for bedtime, that kind of stress can trump the bathtime stress. My tot still wants "mama". He wants to be cuddled and rocked before bed. And my mommy heart is torn, because he's not even two and still needs me so much, but how can I do these things for him when there's a little baby that wants to be comforted often at the same time. And so, on those nights that Enrico is not home I remind my little boy that he is so loved. I place Gigi in her cot with the mobile on, scoop up our tot and cuddle him before bedtime. Sometimes Gigi cries, sometimes she watches the mobile, and on the rare occasion she sleeps. It's always a choice. At some point it will get easier right?

But it's not all bad. It's not all hard. There are the beautiful moments too. The moments when my son calls for me to put Gigi on her playmat so that he can lie next to her. The moments where he sings his nursery rhymes to her. The moments where he tries to sing 'daddy finger' on her hands. The nights when he ends up in our bed and reaches for her hand so he can hold it while he sleeps. The list is endless. The moments are timeless. And at the end of the day it's these moments that remind me that it gets easier.

This sibling thing we're doing here is beautiful. Hard, but beautiful. I don't expect it to be all easy sailing. And when Gigi is a year old, I'll look back on this and think it was the best thing we could have done. Because the truth is, I don't know what life will throw at us, but at least they both have a built in best friend.