Sibling Gap Pressure

So I've back and forthed on this one for a while: What is the best age gap between children?

I think the reason I'm so hung up on this is because while I want a second child I don't want it to affect my son negatively. That sweet, cuddly nature of his - will it change? The way he grabs my hand and marches me around the house to show me things. The way he's discovering his independence. At the end of the day, I don't want him to feel less. Less wanted. Less loved. Less independent. Receiving less attention. Just less.

The other side of the coin is that I think he'd really like having a sibling. How beautiful will it be to see him as a big brother? Will his nurturing nature translate well into big brother status? Will he share all of his newfound independence, encouraging a little soul to get up to no good with him? And then, if this is all to be true (and believed), then what is the best age gap between children?

And so I go back and forth.

Breastfeeding allows for natural spacing between children. So, if nature is to be believed then the ideal age gap between kids is 2 years (roughly). Another opinion is that if you have them closer together you may be able to miss that 17 month possessiveness of 'everything is mine including mommy' which can sometimes be a problem when introducing a new person. Another 'plus' side of this is that they're both still in nappies, meaning that playdates, night-time routines etc, shouldn't be that different (don't quote me on this). And then of course, the third option is a larger age gap, ensuring that your older child is independent, thus giving you time with your new bundle of joy (read nerves).

It also doesn't help that as my son's 1st birthday is a few days away people are constantly asking me, "So when's number two happening?" And that's got me like, 'Huh, yeah, when is number two happening?'

So what's the right answer? The ideal situation? The best solution?

I have no clue. And there it is. The hard truth: I don't think there's an ideal situation. In fact I think a bunch of factors are at play, with the first one centring on what kind of (first) child you have. Then factor in whether you have a good support structure, and if you're even mentally ready for round two.
I look at some women who've had children back to back (literally a whoops that equated to a 13 month age gap) and they are incredibly content, so perhaps I'm overthinking this.

So there are pros and cons to the varying age gaps that ultimately serve to only confuse a parent more. And so in the end, I'm thinking I'm just going to go with my gut on this one.